


Another hospital

by TheIceQueen



Series: Tired of fighting [17]
Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anesthesia, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awesome Paul, Backstory, Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Caretaking, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, Desus - Freeform, Doctors & Physicians, Doubt, Driving, Drugs, Eating, Embarrassment, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Exhaustion, Family Dynamics, Fear, Fear of Being Drugged, Fear of being tied up, Fear of doctors, Fear of hospitals, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Frustration, Gentle Kissing, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Kissing, Latrophobia, Love, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Men Crying, Merinthophobia, Mild Gore, Military Backstory, Needles, Nervousness, Nicknames, Nosocomephobia, Pain, Panic, Past Torture, Pet Names, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protectiveness, Sad, Sleep, Sleep Deprivation, Sleeping Together, Sleepy Cuddles, Sobbing, Surgeons, Surgery, Sweet, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trauma, Trust, Unconsciousness, Wheelchairs, fear of restraints
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-05-30 13:20:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15097517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIceQueen/pseuds/TheIceQueen
Summary: -- Timeline: About a year and three months in to their relationship. --Here we go...: the angsty piece. I just can't help myself.Daryl is hurt on a hunt and have to face his fears of hospitals, doctors and everything that come with it. Paul is there to help him if Daryl will let him.





	1. Chapter 1

_“Jesus, he kicked me out… well not really, but you know what I mean.”_

“Marcy you need to give me more information that that. Did Dee kick you out of the house?”

_“No, the main room. I… I followed the blood in there and he was on the couch.”_

Marcy sounded more confused than scared but Paul was already in his jeep by the end of the sentence. He started the engine and sped out of the base way over the speed-limit for the closed area.

“But he was awake? Was he still bleeding? Why did he throw you out?!”

_“I… ehm… He’s awake, he’s just resting I think. I’m not sure if he’s bleeding I didn’t really see. There’s a lot on the floor though… ehm. He got angry when I told him I was calling an ambulance.”_

It ran cold down Paul’s spine. He knew Daryl had trouble with medical stuff and judging from the reaction he’d had to placing an ice pack on his sore knee, about a year ago, a hospital wouldn’t be an option.

“Marcy. Hold off on the ambulance till I get there. Just look in on him and make sure he’s awake. Can you do that?”

_“Of course, Jesus. Just don’t crash your car on the way. Drive safe okay?”_

“I’m half an hour out. Call me if anything changes.”

Paul threw the phone on the passenger seat and put both hands on the wheel, before squeezing the pedal to the floor and zigzagging between the other cars on the freeway.

* * *

Twenty-five minutes later he pulled up to the front door of the house and was met in the doorway, by Marcy.

“Anything new?”

“No.” Marcy shook her head and looked at their feet, Paul followed her line of sight and saw the blood under his shoes. The trail led to the downstairs bathroom. Paul opened the door and found Daryl’s bloody pants on the floor along with a few towels, some more red than others. A smaller trail of blood drops led to the double door to the main room. Paul nodded at Marcy to stay outside as he went in.

Daryl was on the couch, legs elevated on quite a few pillows and towels. His left thigh was wrapped in one of their big bath towels, strapped on there with Daryl’s belt. Paul kneeled down to a pale, but very much awake, Daryl.

“Dee… What the hell happened?”

Daryl padded Paul on the cheek, as if he was calming a little child. “It’s not as bad as it looks. I had a run in with a boar, it got me good, but I wrapped it up.”

Paul looked at Daryl’s leg. The blood was soaking through the towel and if the tear or cut, or whatever this was, was as long as the red line on the fabric, then this _was_ bad.

“Let me take a look.”

“No, Hot-Stuff. I promise, I’m good. Just need some rest.”

Paul sat on the coffee table and looked over the entirety of the hurt hunter. “Tiger, if you’re good, it wont hurt that I take a look. No matter what, you need to get a real and tighter dressing on this.”

Paul could hear his own heart beating when Daryl hesitated. He’d lost a lot of blood already, and he needed to stop it, if it was possible, he hoped the injury just looked bad, but he was sure that stitches was necessary, at least.

When Daryl nodded at Paul, he called for Marcy to bring in the first-aid kit. He wasn’t sure he could do much with it, but he could at least make a dressing that provided more pressure.

He looked at Daryl before loosening the belt, but he’d turned his face away and stared blankly in to the room.

Marcy wasn’t squeamish, she’d seen Paul set Daryl’s elbow a few times, and not long ago she cut her finger bad enough to paint the counter in blood, and none of it had seemed to really registrar, but she gasped loudly as Paul removed the towel and turned away from the sight. Paul forgot to breathe for a second but quickly pressed the more-red-than-white fabric back on the long deep tear in Daryl’s thigh.

Daryl growled in pain and grabbed Paul’s shoulder with the force of ten men. “Babe! This _is_ bad. You’re cut open from over the knee almost to your hip! This won’t heal by itself.”

The men’s eyes met only briefly, but long enough for Paul to understand that Daryl wasn’t ready to have this conversation. He turned to the leg again, he had to stop the bleeding, but couldn’t remove the towel long enough.

“Marcy!” The blonde girl turned around slowly, almost looking as pale as Daryl. “Sweetie, I need your help. Please give me the big elastic bandage from the kit, will you?”

Marcy came back to life and quickly regained some of her color. Daryl complied silently, apart from the occasionally hiss of pain, as Paul wrapped the band tightly around the thigh and towel.

* * *

When Marcy left the room, she made a hand gesture to Paul as if she was calling someone, but Paul shook his head. He needed to talk to Daryl about the hospital, before calling an ambulance, and it right now the bleeding had slowed enough that they had a little time.

“Dee… This won’t heal on its own, you’ve got to have figured that out yourself.”

Daryl looked into the back rest of the couch, folding his arms over his chest. Paul put a hand on his shoulder, but quickly withdrew it as Daryl recoiled fast and violently.

“Babe?”

“No, Rovia.”

“Please.” Paul tried for one of his hands but got the same reaction. “Dee, let me try and help.”

Daryl turned his head suddenly and looked angrily at Paul. “Just let me be. It’s nothing!”

Paul swallowed and contemplated if he should give up and just make the call now. He knew it would end in a fight and most likely in Daryl getting heavily sedated.

“Dee. I know, you… have problems with this kind of thing, but I’ll…”

“But what! You’ll help?! You’ll make it better? Newsflash! You can’t do a fucking thing!” Daryl snorted and turned away again. “Jesus… just leave me and go somewhere else with your savior-complex.”

Paul sat back and looked at the frustrated man on the couch. He hadn’t talked to him like that since Paul pressured him to open up about what had happened to him. Paul, knew that Daryl was scared and felt cornered, but the words still hurt, he only wanted to help. He’d never wanted anything as bad in his whole life, as he wanted to take the pain from Daryl right now. Not the physical pain, he was completely sure that Daryl was handling that better than he ever could, but he hated to see his strong boyfriend scared and hurt by ghosts in his memories. He knew that feeling too, but this was different.

“I know you can hear me, so I’m just going to talk, okay? I know I can’t help with everything, but as I see it you can chose between, me calling the ambulance and have them come here and do whatever necessary to help you, or you can talk to me and I’ll find a way to get you through this. I’ll do everything I can to make it as close to bearable as we can get.”

The rhythm of Daryl’s breathing sped up and Paul got ready for another scolding insult, but nothing came. Daryl’s hand moved a little on his chest and Paul instinctively took it in his.

“Dee… You have already told me that you were tied down, and I know that’s an issue. I won’t let that happen in any way. You don’t have to tell anything else about what happened, but I need to know what to look out for.”

Daryl tightened his grip on Paul’s hand and nodded. “I can’t get around this can I?” His whispering voice was shaking.

“I’m sorry. You can’t.” Paul straightened his back and yelled for Marcy to call the ambulance. Daryl turned his head and looked at his boyfriend. Paul put his other hand on his shoulder and nodded with an encouraging smile. “You can do this. You can do anything.”

Daryl bit his lover lip and turned his head away again. He spoke with a whisper and Paul suspected it was to keep him from starting to cry.

“The torture was lasted for four days. The beating I could handle, I could even handle the vise they put on by broken and dislocated knee, but being tied to a chair with my back against the door…”

Daryl took a deep breath and moved his fingers a little in Paul’s hand. “I… I had lost all control of the situation, of anything. Even when they rescued me, I had no choice than to lie down and have strangers carry me out.”

Paul didn’t dare to move. He even caught himself holding his breath for a second. He’d wanted Daryl to open up about this for a long time, and even more since he shared just a little a year ago. But he wanted him to do it in his own time. He wanted Daryl to be ready and do it because it felt right and not because he was pressured. Paul wanted to tell Daryl that he didn’t had to tell, but he knew that it was the best thing that could happen if he were to help him when the paramedics came.

Daryl sighed as if he just realized that he could just as well keep going. “The group that extracted me from the resistance group, dropped me at a crappy little hospital in the middle of nowhere. No one spoke English and they didn’t understand when I tried to tell them that my knee wasn’t just dislocated, so when they tied to set it, I fought them. I ended up tied to a bed and drugged, some days more than others. I knew my knee was healing wrong, and by the time the doctors figured it out, they rolled me to an operating room. I resisted, but I was tied to the bed.”

Paul felt his eyes watering and couldn’t just sit there anymore. He dropped to his knees and cradled Daryl’s head with his arm and pressed his forehead against the bigger man’s temple. Daryl didn’t move, and he didn’t stop either.

“When I woke up my leg felt like it had been ripped off by the knee. I don’t know how long I screamed, before someone came in the room and gave me something. It wasn’t pain killers, I just got tired and nauseously enough to not yell anymore.”

Daryl stilled and turned his head. Paul looked him in the eyes and kissed him lightly on the lips. “I’m so sorry. Babe, no wonder you don’t want to go.”

Daryl’s lower lip quivered, but he got it under control fast. “You’ve asked about the money more than once.”

“I’m sorry, Dee. I knew it had something to do with your knee and that deployment, but I never thought…”

“It’s okay, Rovia. Really.” Daryl placed his free hand on Paul’s neck just below the hairline and made him look at him. “When I got back, one of my comrades had figured out what had happened and had gotten me this big-shot lawyer. He calculated the hospital-stay to have been around four weeks, and with my knee still messed up, he got me a big settlement. I’ve been earning interests on that since.”

Paul didn’t know what to say. He felt like someone had ripped out his intestines and stepped on them. He hated himself for all the times, over the past year and a half, he’d brought up the money and all the other times where he’d hinted that Daryl was hiding a part of his past, and made it sound like an exciting or maybe even a sexy thing. He felt disgusted with himself.

“Rovia?”

Paul came back to the situation at hand. “Dee. What is it?”

“Don’t freak out. I kinda need you here.” Paul loved that Daryl tried to make a smile and it meant that he was able to take a bigger breath himself.

“I won’t Tiger. I’m here.” He brushed his hand through Daryl’s messy hair and looked him lovingly in the eyes. “Babe. I promise; _no_ restraints, _no_ unnecessary drugs or needles and I’ll be right next to you all the time. Everything else we’ll handle as we get there, okay.”

Daryl’s lip quivered again, and he bit it and nodded. Paul kissed his forehead. “I love you babe. I won’t let anything happen to you.”


	2. Chapter 2

Paul heard the big vehicle pull up out front and soon Marcy was talking to someone on the foyer. Daryl tensed, and his breathing sped up as he looked firmly at the double door.

“Hey, Dee. Listen, try to…”

“Don’t…! Don’t tell me to relax.” Daryl was building up a wall of anger. Paul tried to get is attention, but his eyes were locked on the door.

“Hon. I won’t. It’s not important, but you need to control your breathing.” Paul squeezed Daryl’s hand and rubbed his shoulder with the other. “If you need to be in control, you can’t pass out.”

The little nod that came from Daryl was almost undetectable, but he took a few deeper breaths, so he must have gotten the message.

“Dee. I know you don’t trust them, and probably never will. That’s okay. But do you trust me to keep them in line?”

Daryl bit his lip and stole a quick look at Paul before directing all his attention at the door opening. Paul’s hand was being crushed by Daryl’s as the two men came closer.

Paul stood up, still holding Daryl’s hand, and was the first one to speak. “His thigh is torn, it’s deep but the bleeding is under control. He doesn’t have any other injuries.”

He had to make sure that they didn’t feel the need to examine and test for anything. This was only a taxa-ride.

The taller paramedic nodded and sent the other to get a gurney. “Okay, I’m Claus and you are?”

“This is Daryl and I’m Paul.” Paul looked at his boyfriend, stiff as a board and desperately trying to keep his breathing in order.

The man stepped a little closer and Daryl’s hand twitched in Paul’s. Instinctively, Paul placed his other hand on there too, and started rubbing Daryl’s palm firmly with his thumb. “I’m just going to check the pulse in the foot and compare to the one in your neck.”

Paul stepped between Daryl and the man and looked at Daryl’s wide open eyes. He looked like a cornered animal and Paul needed to control his own breathing for a second before turning to the taller uniformed man. “I’ll do it.”

“But…”

Paul spoke calmly but left nothing up for negotiation. “I said, I’ll do it. I know how to check a damn pulse.”

The man stepped back and nodded for him to go on, he’d clearly understood that this was not going to be like most of his calls.

Paul didn’t let go of Daryl’s hand when he reached for his ankle, and he finally got eye-contact with the hunter as he placed two fingers lightly on his neck.

“They’re both strong. Fast, but strong.”

“How fast?” The paramedic looked apprehensive and kept his distance.

“Look at him.” Paul stepped aside, and let the man take a good look at his boyfriend. “About as fast as you’d expect.”

Paul had to remind himself that this wasn’t the two strangers fault, that they were doing their jobs and that they only wanted to help. Besides, it might be a good idea to show Daryl that they could work together with these people.

The door’s opened and Marcy held it, so the other man could roll in the gurney. Paul moved to stand behind Daryl’s head. He placed a firm hand on the tensed up shoulder and got close to him to talk. “We need to lift you up there, Babe.”

“I…” Daryl had trouble keeping his breaths in order. “I can…”

“Daryl...” The paramedic who had been in the room the entire time took a slow step closer. “I’m sure you can do it yourself, but it might make the bandage move and the bleeding will start again. Let us help, and you can go to the hospital without us touching that at all.”

It took forever for Daryl to tear his eyes from the man and look at Paul, before nodding. Paul confirmed the agreement with a nod to the paramedics and quickly they had Daryl lifted by the knees, hip and Paul by his shoulders, to the gurney.

They covered his bare legs with a blanket and before Paul could react to the clinging of metal by Daryl’s feet, Daryl did.

“N-no. Rovia. NO!” Daryl was almost sitting up pulling his good leg towards his chest and the other trying to too. Paul tried to steady Daryl from falling to the floor, while holding a hand up for the paramedic to step away.

“Stop! No belts.”

The two strangers looked baffled at the strong hunter, shaking in his boyfriends arms. Paul couldn’t care less about what they were thinking. He held Daryl in an awkward crooked hug and waited patiently for him to loosen his grip around his shoulders.

“It’s okay, Dee. We stopped it. They didn’t know.” He pushed Daryl gently from his embrace and looked at him. “We need to do this. Lie down. No restraints, okay?”

Daryl looked Paul in the eyes and then at the two confused men. Paul helped him to lie down slowly and moved the wild hair from his forehead before lying the blanket over him again. “You can do this.”

In the foyer Paul stopped the gurney and took Marcy’s hand with his free. She looked like a dear caught in headlights. “Sweetie. Thank you.” She nodded, and Paul pulled her in for a hug.

When they let go, he put his hand on her cheek. “We’ll call someone to clean this up. It’s not your job. Go somewhere… to your dad maybe. I’ll call your phone later, to fill you in.” He wondered if the girl, only in her early twenties, had met her boundary.

“Will he be okay?”

“It’s a lot of blood, but he’ll be fine.”

She walked over to Daryl’s side and placed her small hand on his shoulder. Daryl used one of his rare moments not looking at the strangers, to look at Marcy.

“You hurry back. It’s freaking mind-numbing in this house when you’re not here.” She smiled and placed a quick kiss on his forehead, before letting go and the gurney once again was moving.

* * *

Daryl’s hand got tighter around Paul’s and his breathing spiked as they moved into the ambulance, but he didn’t say anything. Not even when the tall paramedic joined them and closed the door. Paul was wondering how long Daryl would be able to keep an eye on every move the man made and keep his entire body that tense.

“I’m sorry, but we can’t go anywhere before he’s strapped in.” The man looked genuinely sorry, but Paul wasn’t standing down.

“You can, and you will! No one is tying him down or strapping him in. I’ll take all responsibility.”

“It doesn’t work that way, it’s not safe.”

Paul stood up from his seat and looked in Daryl’s, if possible, more panicking eyes than before. “Dee, I won’t let them… Breathe.” He squeezed Daryl’s hand and watched him regain control over his breathing, before turning to the poor man sharing the tight space with them.

“Think it over. Do you really think it would be more safe to strap him in? Which of us do you think will put up the strongest fight? Now let’s just go!”

The man looked from one to the other and finally nodded in agreement. “Okay, but it’ll take a bit longer, we can’t rush it.”

“Fair enough.” Paul sat down and strapped himself to the seat. He moved his hand to Daryl’s shoulder. 

“Nothing more before we get there. Concentrate on breathing and you’ll make it just fine.” Daryl nodded but didn’t take his eyes of the paramedic sitting opposite Paul.

* * *

The ride was spent in silence, only interrupted by the medic, asking Paul to check the pulse in Daryl’s ankle. Daryl had been stiff as a board all the time and had barely blinked not to miss anything the man did. As soon as the vehicle slowed down, he looked at Paul. Terror was painted over his face and Paul whished to God that he could ask them to turn around and go home.

The door opened, and Paul followed the gurney out, not letting go of Daryl’s shoulder. When they approached the big sliding door, Daryl grabbed Paul’s wrist.

“Hold for a sec.” Paul stopped the gurney and couldn’t care less about the paramedics pitying looks.

“Babe. It’s alright. I’m not leaving your side, even for a second, and I’ll kick their asses if necessary.”

Daryl was eyeballing the big _Emergency Room_ sign over the door and didn’t seem to notice Paul taking to him. Paul grabbed his boyfriend’s chin and turned his head, so he had to look him in the eyes.

“Hon. I’m here. You’ll be fine. I’m taking you home as soon as we can.”

Daryl was breathing faster than in the ambulance and still didn’t seem to quite connect with Paul’s eyes, but he nodded and loosened his grip on Paul’s wrist slightly, when the smaller man kissed him slow and light on the lips.

They locked their arms, hand on wrist from both sides, and Paul nodded to keep going. As they went through the door, Paul could feel Daryl’s fast beating pulse under his palm and hear his own rush by his ears.


	3. Chapter 3

The doctor came in about five minutes after they got into a room. She had clearly been informed about the situation by the paramedics. She kept her distance and talked clear and slowly.

“Mr. Dixon. I’ve been told you’ve lost quite the amount of blood. Since the dressing on the wound has seemed to slow it down significantly, I don’t think you need to receive blood and we have time to do this a bit slower.” When Daryl didn’t react except from staring intensely at her, she looked at Paul, who tried very hard to accept that he would have to be the mediator between the two.

She turned to Daryl again and took a step closer. “We do need to set you up with an IV, for some fluids and antibiotics. Then I’ll take a look at your leg.”

Daryl’s jaw clenched, and the air was rapidly moving through his nose.

“Is that necessary? Can you just patch him up, so we can leave?” Paul knew it took more than just a little patching up, but he needed to cut all the bullshit-addons away and only accept the essentials here.

The doctor walked to the foot end of the bed, and Daryl shifted to move further up, but his leg and Paul’s hand in his, wouldn’t let him move much. “I understand that this is difficult, but it’s necessary to prevent shock. Mr. Dixson, you’re already moving slow, you’re pale and your breathing is getting faster and shallow, I can see that from here.”

She turned to Paul. “You checked his pulse on the way here. Tell me that it hasn’t become weaker and faster since the first time.”

Paul couldn’t it was true. He looked at Daryl and felt like he was betraying him, but the first concern had to be his safety. He was sure it wasn’t Daryl’s. His boyfriend was looking at him with pleading eyes. Paul tightened his grip on the hunters wrist and shook his head. “I can’t it’s changed.”

Daryl’s lower lip quivered, but he didn’t look hurt or angry, just scared. Paul brushed his fingers through the messy hair and as the doctor found something and got closer he tried to place himself between the two, but she walked to the other side of the bed. Without indicating that she was going to touch Daryl she stopped.

“Let me check your blood pressure, so we can monitor that you’re improving.”

Daryl pulled himself a bit closer to Paul, not taking his eyes from the cuff in the doctor’s hands. Paul leaned down and put his forehead on Daryl’s temple, and whispered in his ear. “Hon… You can handle this one. Just lay still and let her do it. It’s not bad.”

A deep breath filled Daryl’s lungs and eventually he nodded at the doctor to go on. With the first touch to his arm, Paul was all but pulled on top of Daryl. “Just breathe, remember? Dee… it’s okay.”

With rapid heartbeat and glazed over eyes, Paul watched his strong and, at times, funny boyfriend barely holding it together as the cuff tightened around the arm. When he recoiled at the touch of the stethoscope on the crease of his elbow, Paul wondered how the hell he would get him through the IV needle, and he was sure that opening the bandage on his leg would never happen.

“Your blood pressure is on the low side, and considering how… alert you are, I’m suspecting that its supposed to be even lower. I’ll set up the IV.” She looked apologetic as she walked to a cupboard on the far side of the room.

“Rovia. I can’t. Let’s just go home.” Daryl was cutting off blood supply to Paul’s hand and he had difficulty speaking louder than a whisper. Not that it mattered. Paul knew exactly, just from looking at him, what Daryl wanted. “Paul… please. The bleeding has stopped.”

That Daryl was begging made Paul’s insides climb towards his throat. He swallowed and tired to keep his voice from cracking as he spoke. “Babe. It’s only slowed down. It wont heal, you know that. I’m sorry you are going through this, but you need it.”

Paul held Daryl’s head facing him as the needle was unwrapped and for the first time he was glad that Daryl was weaker than normal, because even in this state he put up one hell of a fight.

“Dee. Don’t look at it. Look at me.”

“No. N-no. I need to see, I need to know what is happening. Paul let me see.” Daryl had pulled his arm away from the doctor’s side of the bed and used both hands to hold on to Paul’s arm.

Paul took a deep breath before deciding. “Okay, babe. I’m not going to hold you down, I’m not going to force it while you have no control, but Hon, you have to let her help.”

The pale and shaking man relaxed a tiny bit and Paul let go of his head. Slowly Daryl tuned to look at the doctor and handed her the almost aggressively shaking hand. She took it in hers and held it still for a moment waiting for Daryl to relax, but it didn’t happen.

When the needle came close to the skin on the back of his hand, Daryl’s hand withdrew. Paul didn’t say anything, because he could see Daryl was working hard on controlling his breathing. Slowly, and timid the hand moved back in the doctor’s, and when the needle came close the second time, he only flinched a little, and let the woman align it with his vein.

“Mr. Dixon. Take a deep breath. It’ll be fast.”

Daryl did as told and when the needle went in he as able to control the air moving from his lungs.

“All done. The needle is out, it’s only a small rubber tube in there, so don’t be afraid of moving your hand.”

* * *

Paul was amazed by the strength Daryl was showing. He was sure he would have at least knocked out five people by now, maybe even himself included.

“You’re incredible, you know that? I’m so proud right now.”

Daryl didn’t seem to have time for reacting more than a little hint of a smile. The doctor was attaching stuff to the thing in his hand and the eyes he sent Paul, demanded action.

“Hold up for a second. What’s in there?”

The doctor looked confused for a second, then she smiled overbearingly and talked directly to Daryl. “It’s saline, just fluid and antibiotics. I’ll press in some medicine that will help with the blood pressure.” She put a light hand on Daryl’s shoulder and earned a small panicked breath and a twitch from the large man.

“Rovia. No… no drugs.”

“I know, Dee. Hold on, okay?”

Paul shook his head at the doctor. “You heard him. No drugs. Any side effects will make everything worse, for all of us.”

The doctor looked Daryl in the eyes. “Sir. You can’t get around the antibiotics. If you’ve ever taken it as tablets and had no side effects, this wont give you any either.”

Paul had given Daryl penicillin earlier that year, as an ultimatum, when he refused to go to the doctor for what was probably pneumonia. He rubbed Daryl’s shoulder. “That’s okay. You’ve done that.” To Paul’s surprise Daryl agreed, but he was looking at the plunger on the tray next to him.

“How about that?” Paul nodded at the drug.

“It’s dopamine. The side effects are rare and…”

“You’re not giving him that.” Both the doctor and Daryl looked surprised.

“Mr. Rovia. His blood pressure…”

“Is in the normal range, remember? Nervous or not, that’s what you measured it to be. I’m not letting you inject that stuff into him.”

Paul had had a comrade on base who injured his knee and ankle badly, the bone was exposed more than one place, he was going into shock from pain and blood loss, but only after the drug was given det he get nervous enough to panic and they had to drug him even further. That was the first time he’d ever seen one of his military friends cry. He was sure that drug would end up killing Daryl in his state.

“Sir. I really think that…” The doctor stopped herself as Paul looked at her with eyes that definitely closed the discussion.

Paul took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down and give the scared and confused hunter a smile before he spoke calmly to the doctor.

“I apologize, but I’m not budging on this, please just give him the fluids and antibiotics and get his leg fixed, this is taking too long.”

“He need something for the pain before I even attempt to touch his leg.”

“Rovia… I don’t need that. You know I don’t need it.”

“Shh. Slow down, okay?”

Paul looked at the doctor. “Listen, I know this probably goes against everything that you know, but we have to listen to him, and go with it as far as possible.” The doctor looked like she was about to speak, but Paul continued. “I know him. He’s not afraid of pain. He’s handling it better than anyone I know, and I’m surrounded by a lot of alfa males and females. You can’t drug him, he can’t be half out of it.”

The woman nodded and attached the bag to the IV, before calling to someone in the hallway. She stood next to Paul to open the bandage on Daryl’s thigh, but before putting on gloves, she placed a firm hand on Paul’s shoulder. “Sir. I know this is a severe form of PTSD, I see that, and I’ll go lengths to not make it worse, but at some point, I may not be able to.”

Paul looked her in the eyes and made sure she knew that he understood. Daryl was still on high alert and had heard everything. When Paul’s eyes met him his, he looked hurt, sad and not even angry at the situation anymore.

“One step at a time. Hon, I know that it’s not about _wanting_ to leave, that you _need_ to, but it’s not possible right now. I’m not loosing you to a boar-injury.”

Paul kissed Daryl’s forehead and helped him sit and pushed the extra pillow behind his back. “She’s only looking right now. Just like I was.”

Daryl tensed as she found a pair of scissors to open it up. He was holding his breath and grabbed on to Paul’s hand.

“Breathe. No passing out.”

With Paul’s one hand rubbing the back of Daryl’s head, messing up his hair even more, and the other held tight by both of Daryl’s, they watched as the doctor cut the fabric and exposed the completely soaked towel. A nurse came in and placed a tray covered in bandages, cotton balls, compressions, medical tape, and probably a lot more, either of the guys knew what was.

The nurse put on gloves too, and on the doctor’s command she removed the towel.

Daryl arced his back and growled in pain. Paul instinctively moved closer and pressed his boyfriends head to his shoulder, but Daryl quickly composed himself enough to look at the open wound on his thigh.

Paul looked at Daryl’s face first and saw the realization that everyone knew how bad it was, sink in, but he didn’t really react. Then he took a look at the wound, the doctor was examining. It was deep, but he didn’t see bone, and he really didn’t know what to look for with the muscles. He was just content that it wasn’t oozing blood. There was a lot and they would have to get it covered soon, but no clear crises-worthy gushing.

The doctor didn’t touch anything before asking the nurse to help her wrap it up again. Daryl cried out as they applied pressure and moved his hand’s from Paul’s hand to his upper arm, pulling him down. Paul could do nothing than hug the big man till the women was done and he fell limp back in the bed.

The nurse cleaned up and took a few messages from the doctor, that Paul didn’t really hear, still trying to get Daryl to breathe probably.

“R-Rovia. It’s bad, I know.” Daryl gasped and didn’t seem to notice Paul’s hand on his cheek. “I… I can’t do this without pain killers. I can’t.”

Paul kissed Daryl’s forehead and held his head with both hands, making sure he looked at him. “Honey. I know. We’ll figure this out, okay? Let’s just hear what she has to say first. I’m here.”

* * *

The doctor had talked about a surgeon, maybe a plastic surgeon. The muscle didn’t seem harmed, but it would take some time to fix. She mentioned that they would give Daryl an epidural, and Paul was already zoning out, thinking about how the hell that would even happen, when everything else had been such a trial. Even just lying in this place was proven a difficult task to get him through.

“The safest way is for you to stay awake, but we’ll give you something that will make it easy to calm down and relax.” The doctor looked like she meant well, but she’d clearly not understood what this was about.

“Rovia?” Daryl was whispering, but his eyes said it all. He was going to run out of here, injury or not, if this conversation went further down this path.

Paul looked from the doctor to his boyfriend, he knew that they had to do something about the leg, but this wasn’t going to be it.

“Sir. The risk of infection and shock gets bigger the longer we wait. We need to move to the operating room now.”

Paul looked at her. “Give us two minutes.” She opened her mouth to object. “Dammit, we’ve been her for almost an hour and a half, give us two more minutes!”

She smiled overbearingly. “I’ll make sure they’re ready. Two minutes.” Then she left.

“N-no! Paul I’m not doing it. You can’t let them drug me, so I can’t react to anything. I won’t let them!” Daryl was trying to sit up more, but Paul kissed him on the lips and pressed him gently back into the pillows.

“I won’t. Hon. They need to fix your leg, but you are not going through that again.”

Daryl stilled but clearly didn’t understand. Paul moved the wild hair from Daryl’s forehead and smiled lovingly. “I’m going to make them give you general anesthetics instead.”

Daryl shook his head in silence, but his nostrils flared, and his breathing got short and ragged.

“Babe…”

“No… Paul…”

Paul brushed his palm through Daryl’s hair, and watched him turn away.

“You need to be out for this. Honey, look at me.”

Daryl slowly turned his head to reveal the tears forming in his eyes. If Daryl would cry, Paul would follow soon after. They’d both seen each other cry before, when touching a subject that had proved to be too much. This time they were _in_ that subject and Paul had no idea how to get out, he only had the opportunity to try and navigate through it, till it ended.

“I’m going to convince them to make you sleep though this. I won’t let them drug you, to _calm you down_. I know just as well as you, that it will only make everything worse. Honey… Love… I’m going to be here every second. I’m not leaving your side.”

A single tear escaped Daryl’s eye and he bit his lower lip while Paul brushed the salty drop away. Daryl nodded almost unnoticeable and Paul kissed his forehead. “I love you, Dee. You’ll get through this." He placed a heavy hand on Daryl’s shoulder, before sitting back and waited for the doctor.


	4. Chapter 4

“I’m sorry Mr. Rovia. There’s far less risk in doing it this way.”

Paul had let go of Daryl for the first time since he found him on the couch. He’d placed himself between Daryl and the doctor and nurse who came in, ready to get Daryl moved.

“This is only going to happen if you knock him out. He can’t go through a procedure like that.” Paul was aware that Daryl was shifting between fear and embarrassment, behind him, but he had to tell it like it was.

The doctor stepped closer with a pitiful look on her face. “Sir…” Paul held up a hand to stop her and she did. “Sir. With his amount blood loss, it’s easier to monitor him if he’s not under general anesthetic.

“The blood loss. Exactly! We should do something soon. I promise you, you won’t be able to monitor a damn thing if he’s _not_ out, and if we don’t get this show on the road we’ll find another hospital. We’re on a clock here, remember?”

“Rovia.”

Daryl sounded small and when Paul turned to look at him, he’d pulled the sheath up to his chest and held it with both hands, making him look small too. “It’s okay, Tiger. We’ll call Marcy, she’ll bring the jeep.”

“Mr. Rovia, I will have to advice against that. There’re to many risks, more bleeding, shock from pain, even just prolonging the time would be a mistake.”

Paul took a deep breath and walked back to Daryl’s side and put a heavy hand on his shoulder. “Then make it happen. We’re not going through with the other solution.”

The doctor seemed to understand that they meant business and nodded with a silent smile before her and the nurse left the room.

“Rovia. I…”

“It’s alright. Just keep your breathing in order and I’ll take care of everything else.”

“You know, I still don’t like it right?”

Paul smiled and took Daryl’s hand in his. “I know, babe. But this way it’s shorter, it’s only the minute when you fall asleep. It’s the lesser of two evils. And I’ll be there, through all of it, waiting for you to wake up.”

Daryl nodded and before he could bite his lower lip, Paul kissed him there.

* * *

The nurse came back alone. She was in a hurry and Daryl almost jumped off the bed as she came closer. She grabbed the foot-end of the bed and kicked the locks of the wheels. “We’re going to do it your way Mr. Dixon.” She smiled and then they were one their way out of the room.

Daryl was crushing bones in Paul’s hand, but neither of them spoke on the way down the corridor. They turned left two times after the elevator-ride and they were in a room with big bright lights and all metal furniture, except for the light gray padded table in the middle. Before either of the men could react, four men lifted Daryl to the table and two of them left with the bed.

Paul only just managed to hold on to Daryl’s hand and as it started shaking he found his boyfriend’s deep blue eyes through the commotion in the room. Daryl was looking for him, and hadn’t locked eyes on the stranger’s moves, there were too many. Paul almost fought his way to stand next to Daryl’s head and noticed his eyes turning dark with panic.

“Babe, just look at me. It’s alright.”

“Too… too… fa-fast…” Daryl’s voice were pressed though gasps and shaking exhales. “…stop.”

Paul brushed his free hand though Daryl’s hair and looked over the room. Two people in the corner were getting help from a third to put on gloves and masks. A young man next to Daryl was preparing some kind of drugs on a tray. Two nurses were placing bandages, of different kinds and a few metal instruments, that Paul was glad Daryl couldn’t see, on a table with wheels. At this moment no one was touching Daryl, and Paul was adamant to control how fast that happened and to limit the preparations on him, to one at a time.

“I’ve got you Babe. Just breathe. I’ve got you.”

Daryl’s breathing didn’t approve much, but he accepted that Paul was taking control.

The two people in scrubs and gloves cam up to Daryl, slowly. Their masks weren’t on their faces yet. One of them was the doctor from before. “Mr. Dixon. This is the plastic surgeon I was talking about. He and I will sew your thigh, and you’ll be sleeping as we do so.”

She smiled and then looked at Paul. “Sir. I suspect you won’t leave the room voluntarily?”

Daryl’s other hand found Paul’s too.

“The hell I will.”

The doctor looked at the surgeon and they both nodded. “Okay. I figured that would be pointless, but you do need to get a gown and a cap on. You can do it over there so Mr. Dixon can see, and we’ll hold of on doing anything, until you’re back with him.”

Paul drew a breath of relief. Either they were finally getting how much of a struggle this was for Daryl, or they couldn’t risk either of them going frantic in here. Either way it had the same result. Daryl let go and Paul got wrapped in the blue-green paper clothes and was back by his side instantaneously.

“We’re holding of on taking your bandage off until you’re sleeping.” The doctor turned to the surgeon. “He still haven’t got any kind of pain relief.” She tall man next to her clearly tired to hide the surprise but Paul, clearly saw the shock on his face.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” She waved Paul to the side. Paul hesitated, not only was Daryl still panting and eyeballing everyone close to him, but even without that he didn’t want to leave him. Paul himself needed to be close to Daryl right now, for his own sake too.

“Just a short moment.” She looked at Daryl. “No one will touch you.”

Daryl nodded and loosened the grip on Paul’s hand. Paul placed himself, so he could make eye-contact with the shaking man under the bright lights.

“I need to be sure that you wont delay anything when he’s sleeping. It’s important that we can work and act fast if necessary.”

Paul looked investigative at her. She looked nervous but was clearly talking in behalf of Daryl’s wellbeing.

“I won’t get in your way.”

The doctor made sure they had eye-contact before she spoke again. “Even when we have to restrain his arm? It can’t fall down and dislodge anything.”

Paul looked from the doctor to Daryl and back. “Will he be sleeping first?”

The doctor smiled. “Yes, we’ll have a nurse hold his hand, loosely, while the drugs are administered, and we’ll take it off before he wakes up. You’ll hold he mask over his mouth and nose. I think that would be best.”

Paul’s heart was pulling him back towards Daryl, who was clearly not handling the situation, he could hear his high pitched gasps ten feet away, but he needed to know one thing.

“When he wakes up…” Paul blinked away the burning in his eyes. “When he wakes up. Will he be in pain or will he be lethargic from drugs?”

It was unbearable to think that Daryl would have to relive one of these things, but he’d known since he made the decision about the anesthetic, that both would be a possibility, and he knew that Daryl was thinking the same thing.

The woman took a step forward and Paul got the sensation that she would have put a hand on his shoulder, had she not been wearing gloves. “We’ll wake him up quickly, he should be fairly clear right away. Possibly tired, but he won’t feel drugged.”

Paul looked at Daryl. “So, the pain?”

“Normally we’ll administer a morphine like drug to take the pain, but it will make him… sluggish, so I’ve already arranged for us to give him local anesthetic, before he wakes. It’ will take the pain for at least forty-five minutes after.”

Paul felt a sudden urge to hug the lady, but held off, he didn’t need the delay of changing clothes. “Thank you.” He felt his voice vibrating. “When he’s out I’ll stay quiet and let you work.”

He knew that if he broke that rule he would get removed from the room, and Daryl would most likely wake up without him there. Besides, as long as he’s sleeping Paul trusted the doctor’s completely.

* * *

Daryl was shaking, and tears were building in his eyes. He was gasping for air, close to panicking or hyperventilating. Paul took his hand and cradled his head with the other arm. He kissed him on the forehead.

“Shh. Breathe. They’re on our side.”

He looked Daryl in the eyes, his strong hunter was terrified. Using all his energy to try and breathe probably, and not succeeding.

“Listen. I’ve talked to her. You won’t be in pain when you wake up, and you won’t be out of it either.” Daryl looked like he’d gotten the message, but still wasn’t able to speak. “Hon. I’ll stay here, right here. Just breathe and let me take care of the rest.”

Daryl took a deep breath and let the air out shakily. Paul held on tighter to his hand and rubbed his scalp gently. “That’s it. You’re doing it.”

The next breath was a bit deeper and less shaky. Paul kissed him on the mouth and then nodded at the people waiting quietly around the table. The young sat down and rolled closer to Daryl and a nurse came to take his hand. Daryl’s eyes got huge and he froze.

“Give her your hand, Babe. You wont feel it. The IV is already there, remember?”

Daryl took another deep breath and let the woman move his arm to lye on the narrow padded surface. Paul watched Daryl’s fingers close around hers and she put her other hand on top. The man handed Paul the mask.

“Hon. I need to hold this over your mouth.”

Daryl’s eyes shifted fast from the mask to Paul, making his head shake in the process. “N-no. Paul. I… no.”

“Shh, Hon. I’ll do it. I’ll hold it loose, just keep looking at me.”

Daryl’s breath spiked, as the mask came closer and his head jerked to the side to get loose when Paul placed it over his nose and mouth. “Honey… Breathe.”

Daryl’s hand bored it’s fingers into Paul’s palm, but he stopped moving his head. Paul kissed him on the forehead. “That’s it. Breathe. You’re okay.”

The man on the opposite side of Daryl, pressed the first medicine into the IV and soon thereafter the last.

“Paul…” Daryl’s word came clear through the mask.

“I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

“I… Paul…” Daryl was starting to slur his words. “I… I… can’t.”

Paul’s heart sank, and his eyes glazed over. Daryl was being traumatized all over again. _He_ was traumatizing him. He knew he had no choice, but it didn’t change the fact.

“Dee… Honey. Just breathe. See you when you wake up.”

Daryl’s eyes closed and slowly his hand became limp.

* * *

Paul didn’t react when the anesthesiologist informed the others that he was out. He held Daryl’s hand and looked in the direction of his face, he couldn’t see anything but shadows through he tears filling his eyes. He didn’t even react when someone took the mask away and put in a breathing tube.

A hand was on his shoulder and he turned his head to look at a kind face of a young nurse with small locks of red hair peeping out from under her cap. She was the one who had held Daryl’s hand.

“Are you okay sir?”

Paul blinked and felt his eyes betray him, and let tears roll down his face. The nurse handed him a paper towel.

“There’s some water and juice in the corridor if you want. You’ll have to change when you come back in but…”

“I’m staying here.”

Paul turned to Daryl and placed his hand on the cap hiding his messy hair.


	5. Chapter 5

The room had been almost completely quiet for a long time. Paul had a feeling that the people in there kept every communication to a minimum because he was there. He had no idea how long he’d been looking at Daryl sleeping and his chest moving mechanically up and down. It was calm. It was the first time he’d had any time to think more than one step ahead, but he couldn’t. He was just pleased that some time in this place went by with Daryl not experiencing it.

“Sir?”

Paul looked at the nurse and realized that it probably wasn’t the first time she’d tried to get his attention.

“Sir. We’re going to wake him up now. We’ll push the medicine and then take out the breathing tube.” She looked at the doctor from before and Paul looked from one woman to the other.

The doctor stepped over to help move the bed in again. “He will wake up almost immediately. We think it will be best if he hears your voice first. The first few seconds you might have to remind him to breathe, just till his body’s autopilot sets in.”

Paul stood up to make room for the bed next to Daryl. Then it all went very fast again. The man with the drugs informed them that the medicine was in and a few seconds after they took out the tube. Daryl’s face showed signs of discomfort from sudden movement. The doctor put a firm hand on Paul’s back and he stepped closer and took of Daryl’s cap, so he could move his fingers through his hair.

“Dee. It’s me Rovia. Take a deep breath for me.”

Daryl’s eyes flickered and he kinda turned his head in Paul’s direction. Paul brushed his hand over the side of Daryl’s calm face.

“Dee. Breathe, Babe.”

Daryl took a deep breath and Paul did too. Then all the people waiting around them stepped in and lifted Daryl to the bed, resulting in a growl from the large man. Paul was right next to him, holding his hand.

The doctor held of on rolling out of the room for a moment. Paul got room and sat on the edge of the mattress, held Daryl’s hand and massaged his temple with his thumb.

“Wake up, Dee. Everything is good. You’re okay.” He leaned in and kissed him on the forehead. “It’s Paul. I’m here with you. Take a deep breath and open your eyes.”

Daryl did as told and looked tiredly into Paul’s kind eyes.

“Rovia?”

“It’s me. How do you feel?”

Daryl took another deep breath and Paul noticed that his breathing was becoming effortless.

“Okay.”

He closed his eyes and his head fell to his side. Paul looked at the doctor who was paying close attention. She nodded with a smile.

“He’s just tired. He’ll probably sleep for a while.”

* * *

In the quiet room where Paul and Daryl was left alone, Paul had turned of the lights hoping that Daryl would sleep a bit longer from it. A new nurse had told them that she would be in to check on Daryl every five to ten minutes. Paul wished that she would stay away.

From the wall with the light switch, Paul looked over the room and decided to make use of the time to call Marcy.

“ _Hey. How is it going? Is he okay?_ ”

Paul smiled. He hadn’t thought about how much he’d missed a familiar voice, that wasn’t Daryl freaking out.

“He’s sleeping. He only just came out from surgery.”

“ _Surgery? So it was bad…_ ”

The best and most normal thing to do would be to tell her that everything was fine and it wasn’t as bad as it sounded, but looking at Daryl, wishing that he wouldn’t wake up for a long time, he just couldn’t.

“ _But he’ll be okay, right? Jesus?_ ”

Paul’s eyes were watering, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to say more without crying, but he had to, he couldn’t just leave her with silence.

“He… He’ll be o-okay.” His voice cracked.

“ _Paul? Are **you** okay?_ ”

His breathing got strained, and no matter how much he tried he couldn’t hide the sound of gasping with crying in his throat.

“I’m… I’m good.” He angrily wiped his tears away and damned himself for crying on the phone with their twenty-something year old maid.

“ _You said it. He’ll be okay. Hang in there and call me if you need something… anything.”_

Paul nodded and sniffled but before he realized that she couldn’t hear him nodding, she continued.

“ _You don’t have to speak… text me if you need to, okay.”_

She hung up the phone and Paul was left in the corner, with tears running over the small smile on his face.

* * *

When Daryl opened his eyes, only ten minutes after they entered the room, Paul was holding his hand with both of his.

“Hey, Dee.”

Daryl looked at Paul and then around the room and on the door with the blinds covering the window in it. His breathing spiked and he tensed. While crushing Paul’s hand, he tried to get to sitting up. Paul stood up fast and grabbed another pillow with his free hand and helped him tuck it behind his back. He sat down again and tried to get Daryl to look at him.

“Dee. Babe. Look at me.”

Daryl was shaking. He was picking op right where he left off. Paul put a heavy hand on his boyfriend’s rapidly moving chest and slowly Daryl found Paul’s eyes.

“Listen. You’re good. Everything is fine.”

“C-can we go now?”

Paul knew that they most likely would have to spend the night. It was around nine in the evening and it seemed like most of the doctors had gone home.

“I don’t know. I’ll talk to them.”

Daryl nodded and let go of Paul’s hand and he realized that he wanted him to go now. Slowly he got up and went to the door. He looked back at Daryl before he walked out. The still shaking man nodded for him to leave.

Outside the room Paul strategically placed himself in front of the door, so Daryl could see his shade on the blinds.

Walking back in, Paul asked the nurse to wait a few minutes before coming in. He wanted to talk to Daryl himself first and prepare him for the visit. He sat down on the edge of the mattress and took Daryl’s hands. He couldn’t hide that this wasn’t the news Daryl was looking for and his large boyfriend shook his head in small quick moves.

“No…” Daryl held on tight to Paul’s hands. Not with panic but clearly desperate. “Rovia. I can’t anymore.”

“We’ll have to stay till rounds tomorrow.”

Paul watched all energy leave Daryl’s face and his deep blue eyes glazed over. Paul leaned in and hugged his broken man.

“You can do this. The worst is over. You just have to let them look at it a few times and the rest of the time we’ll just wait.”

Daryl hugged back and leaned his heavy head on Paul’s shoulder. Paul felt the fast breaths going in and the air coming out shakily.

He heard the door open and felt Daryl lift his head. The breathing stopped.

Paul pushed them apart and looked into Daryl’s eyes. “Babe, she’s only going to check that everything is alright.

The nurse walked past the bandaged leg and around to the right side of the bed, placing herself so Paul was between her and Daryl.

“I know this is a special situation. I will have to check a few things, but we don’t have to hurry.”

Daryl was eyeballing the nurse and didn’t indicate that he was going to talk anytime soon, so Paul nodded at her and smiled at Daryl. “Let get his over with. Okay?”

The nurse looked at Paul. “Can you lift the cover, so I can see the bandage?”

Paul let go of one of Daryl’s hands and watched him grab tight on the edge of the mattress. Daryl let him lift the cover and accepted that the nurse slowly walked to the other side to look at the white fabric on his thigh.

“It looks good. A little bleeding, but that was expected. I need to touch you to feel if you’re warm from infection.”

Daryl tensed and looked firm at Paul but again he didn’t move, and Paul gave the go-ahead. After clearly showing Daryl that she had nothing in her hand she placed a light palm on Daryl’s upper thigh almost on his hip, over the bandage, and then she felt the skin on his knee.

“No sign of infection. It’s good. I need to check the pulse on your ankle. Can I do that?”

To everyone’s surprise Daryl nodded. He still looked scared out of his mind and didn’t let go of Paul or the mattress, but he seemed to be managing.

The nurse checked the pulse and walked to stand behind Paul again, and Paul relaxed. Daryl didn’t.

“Are you in any pain?”

Daryl shook his head. Paul wasn’t sure he believed him. He was promised that it would last at least forty-five minutes, but Paul didn’t trust Daryl to tell when it would wear off or if it wasn’t enough.

“Okay, Mr. Dixon. The pain-block should be working for some time still, so that’s good. Call me when it stops working and I’ll give you something to help.”

“I don’t need that.”

Daryl was suddenly speaking loud and clear and tried to move away from Paul and the nurse. She took a controlled step back and Paul took both of Daryl’s hands again.

“I know we can’t drug you, so you feel it, but if the pain is too much we can take the top of without that happening. Let’s hold of on talking about that.” She took the clipboard hanging on the bed and wrote something down. “Mr. Dixon. No matter what happens, we won’t force pain medications on you. That’s always your choice. Okay?”

Daryl nodded and tried to control his breathing through his nose and kept his jaw clenched. The large man didn’t ease up when she left the room. He didn’t look at Paul until the door was closed all the way.

Paul didn’t know what to say or do. Daryl was frozen, just looking at him. Without saying anything he climbed into the bed and made Daryl move a little to give him room, he put his arm around Daryl’s shoulders and pushed his boyfriend’s head slowly to his own, holding it there. He sent a text to Marcy before placing his free hand over both of Daryl’s.

Daryl didn’t sleep. Paul knew that he wouldn’t. After almost two hours, his slow and carefully controlled breathing became more strained.

“Babe? Are you in pain?”

Daryl shook his head and Paul felt the tears burning in his eyes again.

* * *

Daryl lifted his head and held his breath before Paul noticed the door opening.

“Hey, Boys.”

Marcy’s blond head popped in, and Daryl slowly leaned back to the pillow and Paul’s arm.

“What are you doing here?” Paul was glad to see her, but she hadn’t even answered his text, so he thought she’d been sleeping.

“I figured that you were starving. I looked at the local cuisine on the way in and I’m glad I brought you this.”

She pulled two plastic boxes from her bag and placed them on a table that could be pulled over the bed. Paul hadn’t had time to even think of food, and he knew that it was the last thing on Daryl’s mind, but the smell of Marcy’s tomato-beef casserole made his stomach rumble.

Paul sat on the chair to let Daryl get situated, but Daryl didn’t move. Marcy clearly noticed and looked from one man to the other. Paul shook his head quietly and hoped it would be enough for her not to challenge it.

She opened the boxes and handed Paul a fork and offered Daryl one too. The big man looked at the food and shook his head.

“Don’t make me feed you.”

The comment startled Paul. The only thing crossing his mind was that he hoped that she would back of. Please don’t pressure him. Daryl looked at her. He seemed just as surprised but somehow her smile reached him, and he took the fork. Slowly, and still with shaking hands he poked at the food.

Paul started eating but the sight of Daryl eating made him tear up again. It was getting difficult to swallow and to hide his reddening face from both of them.

“Daryl?” Marcy put a hand on his shoulder. “Will you be alright on your own for a second? I need to talk to Paul.”

The hunter looked at a confused Paul and then at the girl.

“We’ll be right outside, blocking the door for everybody.” She just couldn’t put the joking tone away, but it seemed to be having the right effect on Daryl. He too, must have missed the funny girl.

Daryl forced a smile and nodded at Paul to go with her. Paul stood up and kissed him on the lips. “We’ll be right outside. Yell if you need me to come back in.”

Marcy walked out first and had already turned to look at Paul when he closed the door after him. She looked at him with caring eyes he’d never seen from her before, and again without wanting it his eyes welled up and he looked down.

She held out her arms.

“Come.”

Paul hesitated for a second, looking at the smaller girl, before he stepped closer and let her thin arms wrap themselves around his back. He put his chin on her shoulder, covered his face with one hand and wrapped the other arm around her upper back.

Paul didn’t have the luxury of protecting his image or keeping Marcy from being a part of this. He couldn’t hold back and eventually he stopped trying. Marcy held on tight, rubbing his back till he stilled and pulled away himself.

He wiped his eyes and turned away, but she grabbed him by the forearm and turned him back. Holding both of his hands she looked at a man falling apart.

“He’ll be fine. He just need to come home.”

“I can’t do anything to help him. It’s too much for him.”

“Jesus. Listen. I didn’t hear much of what the told you, but I heard enough to know that he would have bled out walking out of here, had you not been with him.”

Marcy was still blunt and direct, but there was no sign that she didn’t mean what she was saying.

Thinking back, Paul knew he had been helping, he knew that she was right, but he wasn’t able to do what he wanted the most; getting Daryl out of there.

“I need to get him home.”

“You will. Just keep him safe from himself till then. The house is ready. I’ll wait here, I brought the car.”

“You shouldn’t stay, we’ll be here all night and who knows how long after that. Thank you for calling the cleaners, I had forgot about that. Just write it to the food-budget and I’ll sort it out later.”

“There won’t be a bill, I cleaned it.”

Paul was shocked. Marcy shouldn’t have had to do that, it was a lot of blood, it must have been horrible and have taken hours.

“I’m sorry.” He took a step towards her and put a hand on her shoulder. “You…”

“I’m good. I chose to do it. Just like it’s my decision to stay.” She smiled hand looked at the door to Daryl’s room. “We should get him home as soon as we get green light. I'll be on stand-by. Now get in there and make sure _both of you_ eat.”

Paul wanted to object but Marcy gave him a quick hug and looked at him with her recognizable easiness in her eyes. “I’m sleeping somewhere around here.” She looked down the corridor. “Call me if you need me.”

She passed the speechless man and opened the door and put her head inside again. “I’ll be around, Daryl. Call me if this one gets to be too much.” She pushed Paul inside and closed the door between them.

* * *

Daryl hadn’t eaten while he’d been alone. Paul sat down next to him again and picked up his own box and fork.

“What did she want?” Daryl was whispering with shaky breathing.

Paul tried his best to smile and look as calm as Marcy had been. “Just being Marcy, you know; telling us to eat and that I couldn’t change her mind about staying here.”

Their eyes met and Daryl accepted the explanation, he picked up his fork and started eating again.

They ate in silence and when they both were done Paul rolled the table away, observing Daryl shifting in the bed. He was clearly hurting.

“Babe. Let them give you something for the pain.”

Daryl looked hurt that Paul would even suggest it. Paul took his hand, not accepting Daryl’s attempt to pull it back.

“It won’t make you feel drugged, remember? I know you don’t trust them, but trust me when I say, that if it gets too much in any way, I’ll lie next to you talking to you all the time and I’ll kick all of their asses after.”

Waiting for Daryl to stop biting his lip and say something was torture to Paul.

“I won’t be able to sleep anyway.”

Paul kissed his forehead and with their noses almost touching, he looked him lovingly in the eyes. “It’s not about that, Hon. You can’t be in pain all night. Let’s just try it. Please.”

With their foreheads touching and Paul’s eyes closed, Daryl nodded slowly.

Paul let a deep sigh out and decisively walked to the right side of the bed and climbed in. He wrapped his arm around Daryl’s shoulders before pulling the red string on the wall behind them.

The nurse came in slowly and smiled kindly. She once again assured the men that the effect of the drug would at most make him a little dizzy and when he wasn’t going to stand anyway he most likely wouldn’t notice it. Daryl clearly didn’t like the phrase, _most likely_ , but Paul make sure he knew that the deal was still on by rubbing his chest firmly with the palm of his hand.

With Daryl stiff as a board the nurse pressed in the drug and soon after she left the room.

“Dee?”

“I don’t like it at all. I’m not sure this was the right thing to do.”

With a light hand, Paul slowly turned Daryl’s head from looking at the IV, to meeting his eyes. “Do you feel anything?”

Daryl looked like he thought it over. “The pain is better.”

“So nothing else?”

“Not yet…”

Paul relaxed a little. “Okay, Hon. Let’s not worry about what’s not there yet. Just tell me if anything changes. Do you want to lie down, to try and relax a little?”

After looking a long moment at the door, Daryl shook his head. “I… I need to see… to know.”

Paul pushed himself closer to Daryl and got them both situated comfortably, sitting up in the bed.

“Rovia.” Daryl didn’t move. “I want you to sleep, but…” Daryl trailed off.

“It’s okay, Honey. It’s not about what you want, it’s about what you need. I get it.”

Daryl took a deep breath and let it out shakily. Paul rubbed his boyfriend’s upper arm and held him tight with the other and got himself ready for a long night.

“I know it’s bad, but I’ll stay here with you, and as soon as they can be convinced to give you the green light, we’re out of here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exploring the effects this have on Paul, giving him some room to react. Tell me what you think about it. 
> 
> Please tell me what you think of Marcy too. I'm contemplating writing a shorter installation that's focused more about her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter. Sweet and short.

“Look at him! He’s not going to rest before he’s home!”

The doctor wanted Daryl to stay another night, to relax and heal a bit before moving too much. At this moment Paul was calculating how many people he would have to fight off while rolling Daryl out of the hospital. Marcy was on the other side of the open door, she could push Daryl’s bed.

“Sir…”

“No! Don’t _sir_ me right now. He hasn’t slept all night, he’s not going to _rest_ in this place.”

Paul looked back at Daryl. He was still on high-alert and was using every nerve in him to follow every single movement and word said. Paul was wondering if he was even paler now that before surgery, or if it was only the dark lines under his eyes that made it look that way.

The doctor let out a surrendering breath and nodded quietly. “Okay, but he will need someone to be with him. Someone to change his bandage. He have to limit his movement to an absolute minimum for the first week. Daryl had had to pee during the night, and Paul had handed him the oddly shaped plastic bottle and discarded it after. They could limit Daryl’s movement down to only going to the bathroom when he had to do more than piss.

“I’ll stay with him.”

“Rovia.”

Paul turned around and when he didn’t have his eyes on the doctor, he instinctively walked between him and his boyfriend.

“You can’t stay home for a whole week. You’ll lose your job.” It looked like Daryl was hurting himself by saying it. Paul knew that he wanted to go home more than anything else.

“I’m sure I’ll figure it out, Tiger.” But Daryl was right, there was no way he could get any leave right now, with such short notice.

“Sir? May I suggest that you hire a nurse?” The doctor tread carefully, she’d dealt with the boys since last night, and she clearly knew that the situation was volatile, and anything could set either of them off. “It would be in his best interest to have a professional there to change the bandage, check his wound and help him move when he has to.”

Paul thought it over. If Daryl would go along with it, it could be a possibility. It had to be better to at least stay at home, even with a nurse there.

“We can’t, Rovia.” Daryl’s lower lip started quivering and Paul walked to his side and took his hand.

“It would be better than this.”

“I know, but we can’t.” Tears were building in Daryl’s eyes, and Paul was confused. It didn’t look like Daryl was against having a nurse in the house.

“Why, Dee?”

“We used all the money on the house, the interests we’re earning now, is used to pay Marcy.” Daryl looked down, Paul knew what was coming next. “Let’s just go home, they can’t hold me here. I’ll be fine on my own.”

The doctor stepped closer. “I’m sorry, but in this case, I’ll have to get a psyche-evaluation before I can let you go. It’s too irrational for you to make that decision.”

Paul was again getting ready to fight the entire hospital staff but turned to Daryl instead. He framed the scared and broken man’s face with both hands and looked him decisively in the eyes.

“I don’t care if I’m in debt the rest of my damn life, you’re not spending another night in this place.”

The levee Daryl had controlled till now broke and tears streamed slowly down his face. Paul kissed him tenderly on the lips. They broke it off, when there was a timid knock on the door.

Marcy had tears down her face too. “Daryl?”

She walked passed the doctor and to the opposite side of the bed, from Paul. She took a speechless Daryl’s hand in both of her tiny hands.

“I’m home all day. I can help.” She sniffled and looked at the doctor. “Can’t you teach me. Just tell me what to do.”

“Marcy, sweetheart.” Paul reached over Daryl’s legs and put a hand on her wrist. “It’s not your job. We can’t ask that of you.”

She smiled through her tears and shook her head. “It’s not you asking here. Please let me help.”

Paul looked at Daryl. This had to be his decision, but it seemed like Daryl was still catching up, even though he’d stopped crying.

“Hon? What do you think?”

Daryl nodded at Paul and then looked at Marcy. “You sure?”

Marcy wiped her eyes and nodded with a relieved sigh. “I’m sure.”

The doctor came over and stood at the end of the bed. Daryl immediately tensed and automatically squeezed both Paul and Marcy’s hands.

“We can make that happen.”

* * *

After taking way too long to explain and show Marcy everything, they were cleared to go. Daryl was moved, with much struggle, to a wheelchair and Paul rolled him to the parking basement where Marcy had parked the jeep last night.

Paul reassured the doctor that they had both a wheelchair and an elevator and that the bathroom was connected to the bedroom. The doctor handed Marcy a list with things they needed to pick up at the pharmacy, including some heavy duty painkillers, and strict instructions to call the hospital and ask for her if she had any doubts of concerns.

Daryl clenched his teeth and held his breath as Paul and the doctor helped him into the backseat. Marcy was already in the driver’s seat turning on the engine.

“Lets go. Were in.” Paul strapped his seatbelt and only just realized that Daryl never used one. He’s seen it before, but always thought it was just Daryl being Daryl, having never been used to wearing one, but now it made sense, and it hurt his stomach.

Paul was on Daryl’s right side, so he wouldn’t accidentally touch his wound. He put his arm around Daryl’s shoulders and pulled him in tight. Daryl rested his head on Paul’s collarbone and when they left the parking basement and met the soft morning light outside, Paul felt Daryl relax in his arms. Paul leaned his head back and looked out the window and found himself enjoying the busy morning traffic that he’d always hated.

* * *

Marcy and Paul had decided to drive straight home and then Marcy would go to the pharmacy later. On the way up the wide gravel road leading to the house Daryl hissed and shifted position. He sat up straight and clearly tied to steady himself from the unsteady movement of the car.

“Almost there Tiger.” Paul grabbed Daryl’s shoulder and looked out the windshield just as Marcy pulled up to the front door.

“C’mon let’s get you out of here.” Paul sprung out, ran to Daryl’s side and opened the door.

Slowly they got him turned so his feet was out the door, and before they got him standing Marcy had brought the wheelchair out. With a loud exhale Daryl sat down and Paul rolled him to the door, praising Daryl for leveling out the path to the front door, instead of making a staircase. He’d told Paul that it was easier to get in with furniture and that if they needed, they could back the pick-up all the way up to the door.

Daryl had insisted that he could get in bed himself, but he’d fallen back in the chair with a loud yelp, so Paul and Marcy was at either side in an instant.

“Let us help.” Paul grabbed Daryl under his arm and watched Marcy do the same.

“I’m okay.” Daryl smiled at Marcy when he was up. “I can stand on my own.”

She let go but Paul stayed close to the big man while she moved the chair out of the way.

Paul pulled Daryl’s pants down.

“Rovia!”

Paul looked up, surprised. Daryl was staring at Marcy. Paul stood up and grabbed both his shoulders firmly. “Dee. She’s going to change your bandage on your thigh. It’s not like I’m pulling your boxers off here. Now sit down please so I can get them off your feet.”

Marcy came over and helped him sit down slowly. Daryl tried to hide the pain when bending or stretching his leg.

They got the clearly embarrassed hunter situated under the covers and Paul picked up his hand and kissed it while looking deep in the dark blue eyes.

“I’ll be right back, Hon.”

* * *

Outside the bedroom, Marcy was already reading the list, checking off the things they already had in the med-kit.

“Sweetie.”

She looked up at Paul and he hugged her tight. Only when she lifted her head from his chest, he let got and she stepped back to look at him.

“I’m sorry we’re putting so much on you. You didn’t sign up for this.”

“I kinda did, remember?” She looked at the long list in her hand and then at Paul. “Not when I started working here, but yesterday and this morning. It’s my decision and I want to help.”

Paul smiled at the young girl. “We’ll add to your salary. Just promise to tell me if it’s too much. I’ll hire that nurse.”

“It won’t, but I promise.” She put a hand on his shoulder. “My job is my job. This is helping family, not a job.”

Paul shook his head with a smile of amazement over this girl. He was happy to call her family.

She stepped back, indicating that she was about to leave. “Now go relax, you didn’t sleep last night either I see that. I’ll go to the pharmacy.”

She left the hallway and Paul wondered if he ever was going to get the last word with her.

* * *

“Marcy left. How are you?”

Paul kneeled down next to the bed brushing a hand through Daryl’s hair.

“I…” Daryl bit his lower lip and looked away.

“Hey. Tiger. We’ve been through too much for you to close down on me now.”

Daryl looked at Paul with water in his eyes. “I’m… I’m still…”

Paul waited patiently for Daryl to form his words through the lump blocking his throat.

“Rovia. I’m still scared.”

Paul’s heart sunk to his stomach. He could see Daryl wasn’t in a good place, but for him to say that, it had to be bad.

Paul put his free hand on Daryl’s cheek. “Oh, Hon. You’re home. You can sleep now. I’ve already called in sick for today. I’ll stay with you all night, and tomorrow I’ll only have to work for three hours, Marcy will stay in here if you want her to. After that we have the whole weekend.”

A single tear escaped Daryl’s eye and Paul brushed it away with his thumb, before walking to the other side and climbing into bed with his broken man. He spooned Daryl’s side and kissed his lips as the bigger man turned his head to look at him.

“Dee. You need to sleep.”

Daryl took Paul’s hand in his and held it tight over his chest. “I can’t. I won’t.”

Paul brushed over the back of Daryl’s palm with his thumb and squeezed himself closer to his boyfriend feeling his shaky breaths.

“Shh. Hon. I’m here with you. You’re safe.”

After whispering, _you’re safe_ , _I’m here,_ every few seconds for almost twenty minutes Paul felt Daryl fell into a calm restful sleep. After an hour of holding a relaxed Daryl, feeling him breathe, Paul too was able to relax and let exhaustion take over.

**Author's Note:**

> As always: please tell me what you think. I love reading comments.


End file.
